Problem: Endless Obstruction – Nothing is Getting Done
Is never-ending congressional gridlock making it impossible to get any meaningful legislation for the public good?
Does your Senator or House Representative still try to feed the people with meaningless virtue-signaling empty-calorie platitude-burgers? Are they constantly taking vacations while utterly failing to sense any urgency for anything but a tax break for their already wealthy friends or piling on more bazillions of $ for the Space Force or the Pentaverate?
Does it seem like there’s NOT ONE THING that can properly motivate your representative to actually DO SOMETHING for YOU?
No motivation works better than good old reliable fear,
but the plain regular fear of losing a committee seat,
cutting off free gas-fracking lobbyist cash,
or missing out on that sweet Insurance industry and Big Pharma money
just isn’t going to work these days… but we know what will.
Lava-Based Solutions™️
LAVA. YES, LAVA.
Sure, actively protesting your constituent-dodging, corrupt-as-heck representative is “good trouble.”
While it’s true that denying your representatives a moment of peace can be very effective,
no primal fear comes anywhere close…
to the actual fear of being dropped into an active volcano full of searing hot molten lava.
That’s why we, at the VOLCANO PARTY, offer only the best, and most effective
Lava-Based Solutions™️ to solve the nation’s biggest problems.
LAVA – it’s JUST that simple.
Solution # 1: Drop Congress Into a Volcano
The number one obstruction to real meaningful progress is fairly obvious – Congress.
How many times has the legislative branch stood in the way of common sense solutions to America’s problems?
Too many to count. The solution to this dilemma is simple:
Drop them into a volcano.
Congress won’t send out monthly relief checks during a pandemic?
Drop them into a volcano.
No debt cancellation? VOLCANO!
No federal jobs guarantee? VOLCANO!
No comprehensive national healthcare?!
V O L C A N O!
We will make it as crystal clear and abrasive as pumice
that if they fail to enact substantial amounts of legislation to help the people,
WE WILL DROP THEM INTO A VOLCANO.*
🌋 *Metaphorically (wink, wink) 🌋
Lava-Based Solutions Are the Best Solutions
PAID FOR BY AMERICANS FOR LAVA-BASED SOLUTIONS PAC (Not really. This is Parody… or is it?)
